Ugly-Ass Album Covers Vol. 1

What the fuck were they thinking?

It's obvious I have a problem with most mainstream Hip-Hop, but at least some of them can get decent album covers. Every so often, one cover is so bad it deserves to be mocked, which is what I will do with this new segment. It's not weekly or anything like that, just when I see an ugly cover and am in a mean-spirited mood. Making the spotlight for being in the very first volume of Ugly-Ass Covers is Rick Ross and MMG.

It's no secret that Rick Ross has made his fame mostly by imitating gangsters and whatnot, and while the big man has released nothing but shit over the past few years (or ever when you think about it), one would think he'd at least get the goddamned cover right. Maybach Music Group, Ross' tight-knit label, is releasing the sequel to "Self Made," appropriately titled "Self Made Vol 2." Hopefully their music is more inspired than their titles. I'm not here to talk the music, rather I'd like to piss on the cover. Really, are you trying to sell a rap album or a shitty movie with some big names and a few hacks?

Funny how the faces sort of match, too

Granted, everyone tells you to not judge a book by its cover, but seriously, if you're so uncreative that you can't make an interesting album cover then that doesn't sit well for your music. Also, a bad album cover is one thing, but a lame-ass cover that's corny as hell doesn't say much about the "tough guy" image you're trying to portray. For a rapper whose called fake more than Tila Tequila's tits, he sure isn't really trying at all to maintain an authentic image.

Let's analyze the cover bit-by-bit. It's all black with 5 smoking heads, their names, a title, and a tagline. Simple enough. Except the heads are way too close, so it looks like 5 dudes standing all close together in the dark with steam coming off of their hot, perspiring bodies. Ross is this what you wanted?

The five heads are obviously the MMG members, featuring Ross at the front with his fat head and invisible beard. Standing to his right is horny-as-fuck Meek Mill and half of Stalley. To his left is high-as-fuck Wale and Omarion's ghost, 'cause I refuse to believe this motherfucker is still alive.

Someone should have killed him after this shit

At the top, the text reads "The Untouchable Empire," 'cause Ross isn't gangsta, he's gangster, and can't nobody fuck wit him or his posse of sell-outs and YMCMB scraps!

"Thanks Wayne for O-- mmm damn you fine!"

They all have their cute, little nametags so you know which boss is which, except Rick Ross opted for "Rozay" instead of the stage name he stole, because real bosses drink champagne. 

"Don't fuck with us!"

Either they're bunch of hipsters making ironic artwork, or they don't realize how much they look like self-parodies of their cliche personas. But I guess it's not rare that a bunch of mainstream artists are over-exaggerating the pathetic act that their idiot fanbase finds appealing. In fact, Hollywood releases shit like this all the time, and no I'm not talking comic book adaptations because they at least admit to being cartoons.

That's more like it!